Prompt: What relationships have had the greatest impact on your life?
Another loaded question. To answer it properly, I guess I have to decide how I’m going to define the term ‘greatest impact’. I could take the optimistic route and only give people who have positively impacted on my life a mention, but that would feel shallow. Really, the people who have hurt me and lied to me make up as much of me today as the people who have nurtured and loved me. And it some ways, I’m not sure that’s a bad thing.
Mum: I have a very close relationship with my mother. She’s the type of parent that anyone would be blessed to have. My parents split up when I was sixteen, but I still see her most days, if only briefly. She fostered my love of literature and showed me what it means to be compassionate. Sometimes I feel like she neglects me a little bit for my high-maintenance twin and younger sister, but I know that she’d do almost anything for me. I have no idea what kind of person I’d have grown up to be without her guidance.
My father: I’m always reluctant to discuss my relationship with my father in an open forum. All I need to say is that it has greatly impacted on my ability to trust and rely on anyone other than myself.
My twin: I’m still learning, years later, that not everything is a competition. Having a charismatic, fairly shrewd twin meant that I always had to try so hard to be noticed until I carved out my own niche. People were always drawing unfavourable comparisons. and probably still do. I love her, but growing up with her was hard.
My younger sister: I’m not sure how she fits in here. I just know that life wouldn’t be the same without her, for better or worse. xD <3
Victor: My cousin. Pretty much the same as my younger sister, but he’s also my secret-keeper.
Joran: The first person I ever loved romantically, despite never having met him. Ironically, I found out the other day (nine years later) that he was just a construct. This is something I really need to dedicate a blog to getting off my chest. I won’t talk about who Joran really is, just who he was to me. When I was struggling in primary-school and early high-school to be accepted (this ties in with issues with my twin), he made me believe that I was beautiful and intelligent and worth something. He made all those days I just wanted it all to end so much better. It’s probably an exaggeration to say I wouldn’t be alive today without his support, but sometimes I’m not so sure.
A: I thought about using her real name, but it’s so unusual (and she’s still a part of my life) that I thought it’d be better to disguise it, just in case. A was the first girl I ever had a crush on. Thinking back, the entire thing was a bit silly, but at the time it meant the world. I went through an incredibly confused phase, trying to work out whether I loved her as a friend, or as something more than that. I made a collage of her pictures in Paint Shop Pro, to the lyrics of Jet’s Look What You’ve Done. How creepy is that? xD Still, my friendship with her really helped me define myself and my orientation. Sometimes, I think that maybe she might have had the same attraction to me, but I guess I’ll never know. We’re still friends. Not so close these days, but I’m glad she’s still in my life.
Cam: One of the most negative influences in my life. She lied to me, she cheated on me, she made me feel inferior at every turn. Like there was something wrong with me because I didn’t look like some slutty anime character. I haven’t been in a relationship since we broke up in last 2007. She’s made it very difficult for me to believe that anyone could be genuinely interested in me, and not just making a pit-stop until something better comes alone. But, she’s also taught me that she never deserved me to begin with.
Y: Y is someone I will always love and I hope will always love me. She’s gotten me through some tough times, and although we’re not as close as we used to be, her friendship is invaluable.
K: K has done pretty good job at restoring some of the faith I once had in myself. He is encouraging, and pleasantly stable, unlike most people I seem to find myself involved with. He tried to understand my insecurities, no matter how ridiculous they might seem. Things aren’t always smooth sailing, but I’d definitely say that K is one of the best influences I’ve ever had and I hope he’s always a part of my life in one way or another.
I’m sure I’ve forgotten some people and have neglected to do those mentioned justice, but this was a bit of a rush job. Assignments are calling. Thanks to everyone who has positively impacted upon my life.
